The picture we've shared, of the full plastic white unicorn DOES make sense. We put that image together because the Uni-corn holders we found on Amazon just upset us so much.

Check out these corn holders you can purchase on Amazon and other novelty shopping sites.

Amazon.com

Okay, so we're promoting unicorn on unicorn violence now? Not cool. So you're telling me, I have to get two unicorns and have them butt heads to hold my corn in place? Not only is that upsetting on many levels, but having two unicorns basically means you have yourself a bicorn. A BICORN!

Granted, with our 'full unicorn' design, you'll have to hold the mystical beast's rear end, but there's nothing wrong with that ... Haven't you seen the Squatty Potty commercials? The only thing you have to worry about is ice cream and rainbows coming out the backside of a unicorn.

Look, just side with us on this. When you aren't eating corn on the cob, you'll have yourself a UNICORN action figure rather than a bunch of unicorn severed heads that look like gummi snacks from far away.

Hey, if you don't want to miss any of my crazy rants, be sure to download our app. It's free, so do it. Also, if you find something that you're mad about, send me the info, and maybe I'll put into words exactly what you're feeling!