Book Suggests Women Should Cheat to Keep Marriage Alive
Editors Note: This story is for grownups.
In The Secret Lives of Wives, more than 200 women reveal to writer Iris Krasnow how they keep their relationships together, from separate vacations to ‘boyfriends with boundaries.’ Some say they ignore the boundaries now and then, and they insist it saved their marriage.
Through interviews with more than 200 women and two years of research, Krasnow found a universe of individual and often taboo things many women have done to stay married for the long haul—some for as long as 70 years.
She suggests, among other things, having a hobby. Rekindle an old flame. Even cheat, if you must. Get a “friend with benefits.” Join a “swinger’s club.” Or do what Krasnow says she does at her own home. She says she has a “boyfriend with boundaries”— a close male flirtation without the sex.
She says “To expect one person, man or woman, to make you happy for the rest of your life is a ticket to divorce. The happiest women I interviewed have a sense of purpose and passion outside of marriage.”
In fairness, cheating is just one of the things Krasnow recommends. She also suggests taking separate vacations. A bikini wax. Have sex with your husband —even when you don’t want to. “A romp in the hay can heal anything, at least temporarily,” says Krasnow.
Krasnow’s point is that there are lots of things women can do to keep their marriage alive, and for some women, cheating seems to have worked.
Oh really? There’s no guarantee that cheating will save a marriage. Most of the time it’s s a sure-fire way to kill one. Just ask the millions of people whose marriages crashed and burned after one or both of them cheated.
There’s just one thing that’s certain about cheating. It makes divorce lawyers rich.