Professional writer for Uproxx.com, GammaSquad.com, Guyspeak.com, Guyism.com, Zug.com, and innumerable other sites. He writes the Internet, basically.
Soon Your Smartphone Will Know Your Mood
Imagine a world where your smartphone can realize that you're angry or sad, and react accordingly. Thanks to the University of Rochester, it's not as far away as you might think.
Drug Courier Loses $20,000, Asks Tucson Police For Excuse Note
Granted, losing $20,000 of a drug cartel's money is fairly panic inducing. That said, you do have to wonder what Demarco Alonzo Thomas was thinking when he called the police for a note excusing him from delivering $20,000.
Obama and Mckayla Maroney Are Very Disappointed In… Something
President Obama met with the 2012 United States Olympic Gymnastics Team and... well... you can see what happened for yourself.
German Man Caught With Complete Mobile Office In Car
Got a GPS in your car? Maybe an iPod? Maybe you're really fancy and you use a hands-free cellphone kit? You've got nothing on this unnamed German man, who rigged an entire mobile office in his car.
Meet the Girl Who Has to Drink Six Pints of Milk a Day Just to Survive
Do you like milk? Like, do you really like milk? Holly Lindley, a British nine-year-old, really likes milk. Good thing too, because she's got to drink six pints of it a day to survive.
NASA To Market Motion-Sickness Nasal Spray
If you get motion sick, you're probably looking for any form of relief. And a source of it is coming from an unlikely place: NASA.
Man Tries To Cook Squirrel With Blowtorch, Burns Down Apartment Complex
If you're going to cook and eat a squirrel, for some inexplicable reason, we can stake with confidence that a blowtorch is not the way to go about doing it.
Frustrated Driver Thinks Deer Should Be Told To Cross In Low-Traffic Areas
We feel really bad for Donna, the woman in this clip, because she seems an exceptionally nice lady. She's well-spoken and polite, just... hazy on a few concept. Donna called into a North Dakota morning show because she couldn't get anybody to pay attention to her problem. Which essentially…